What if?

I was lying on my bed, thinking about the events of past couple of days. All I was hearing was of deaths and accidents. And I had just fainted a couple of days before. And then just as I was searching for the questions of which I needed answers, I actually got one.

I felt my body. It was little warm.  THE HEAT! But I decided to take it in another way. And there it was.. the question. Actually questions.  I could now only hear my heart beats. Pumping blood all through my body, with a constant pace;with a rhythmic sound.  I gulped down the lump in my throat. There it was. "THE" Question.  Flashing right before my eyes as I stared at the ceiling and a small tear rolled down my cheek. Something went in my eye. ( don't laugh! That does happen)

THE QUESTION.

What if I die? Like right now. Not even a chance to talk to anyone.  Not even a freakin  "last wish". Just like that. Puff! Gone. Aditya Mankad is no more.

I decided to be a little less intense.  I am not exactly an optimistic person. I would call myself a realist. So I was unable to erase that thought out of my "super-computer" brain. Bad-ass subconscious mind.

It led to another set of questions. Does it make a difference? To world? To anyone? If i am here. Am I doing "things" that impacts others. Even one person?

Reality check: It does. It actually does. Believe me. And if you don't,
close your eyes,
Have a flashback of "TODAY"
The interactions you made. The quarrels. The hangouts. 
There.  Your answer.  IT DOES.
Then It was all coming to me. All at once. Why? How? When?  WHAT IF??

I closed my eyes. In vain.

The questions were still there.

Does it make a difference if I am gone. Like, an actual difference.  I don't know the answer. So I left it there. 

THE CRAZY

I then tried to change the course of questions. YES!

What would people talk about me? when I am gone.
What if there's after life? Would it be like Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory? ( *fingers crossed* )
What if someone was gonna propose me the same day? 
BAD LUCK BRIAN I am.
What if I get re-incarnated? Ooh ooh.. can I choose?

Okay so list is getting crazier.  Lets end it.

THE REALISATION

As much selfish I am about living long. I understand the fact that it is but a mirage. A glass that will shatter. You can't stop it.  So why bother? Just LIVE. because death might be just nextdoor.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.

A poem. On what I realised. After this much fuss.

There's a message with each coming spring,
There's a chill running within,
The autumn is but a day away,
Sunshine is not always gonna stay,
Coz what started once,
Will always end,
No need to run away or pretend,
The inevitable can't be escaped from,
It is not a fairy tail, which will end with the twelfth dong,
When? how? where? nobody can tell,
Or where will you end up! Heaven or hell!
The circle of life turns,
For a new birth, even the phoenix burns!
So when on some crossroads,
It turns to you,
Don't be sad, or change your ways,
Instead, accept it, just embrace,
Coz death is but spoiled upon its name,
The real pain is given by life!
Again and again!